are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
