She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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