And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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