The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
