I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
