Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
