and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
