East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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