i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My bed smells like the plague
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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