well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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