we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
