just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
