Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i already hear my dad disowning me
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He shit in the fireplace
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize