He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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