shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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