I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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