hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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