low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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