wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
