and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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