May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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