Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I AM VODKA MAN
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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