Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
