i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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