chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize