im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize