Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
