drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
