Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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