That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
