Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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