The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
how does that bad decision feel?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
