Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
