I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
