clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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