did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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