Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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