They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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