yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
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She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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