your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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