Nicole vs. Life
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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