her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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