just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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