Soap is not a condiment
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
