yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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