piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
