Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
