you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
