they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You're earring is so big in my mouth
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
