New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
