Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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