I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
