How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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