Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
