All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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