the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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