What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
