Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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